Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dating Tips-Love Heals - But You Have to Know How?

Have you ever heard it said that love heals anything and time heals all wounds? Have you actually been healed through love you received or have you actually helped someone else heal through love you have given?
Love does heal but first you have to really know what love is. One way to discover what love IS is to learn about what love IS NOT. WE have often heard that love is blind. A research study at the University College in London found that when one is in the throes of "feeling in love" the areas of the brain that control critical thought, e.g., the prefrontal cortex, may be suppressed. But are they really talking about "Love" or are they merely studying infatuation, limerance, lust or those early high hormonal days of desire for the object of one's fascination?
After a quick scan of what has been said about what love is and what love is not, I have compiled the following two lists. As you read these, reflect upon your own life and your own relationships. Think first about your most intimate relationships, past and current. Then think about your family, friendship and work relationships. Finally, think about your overall attitude and personal beliefs about love.
When you are in a relationship, any relationship, there is a certain way you are thinking, feeling, believing and behaving. The other person is both responding to you and also providing their own ways of thinking, feeling, believing and behaving. This often leads to miscommunication, unexpressed upsets, subliminal attitudes and demands, and outright manipulation, control, disagreements and fighting.
The following lists offer a simplified understanding about what love, unconditional and healing love, really involves. To remain in a state of love, regardless of outward circumstances or the attitudes and behaviors of others, requires a very strong inner constitution. Love necessitates powerful self-respect and a higher understanding of the way the world works.
LOVE IS NOT
  1. blind, insecure or desperate
  2. self-centered, self-absorbed, or self-promoting
  3. struggling, fighting, forceful or resisting
  4. arrogant, selfish, jealous, or demanding
  5. mistreatment, misunderstanding or mistrust
  6. submission or dominance
  7. emotional coercion, manipulation or control
  8. critical, judgmental, or even expecting
  9. intermittent or dependent on circumstances
  10. weak, fragile or easily destroyed
LOVE IS
  1. patient, kind, gentle and caring
  2. accepting, allowing and forgiving
  3. yielding, giving in and being vulnerable
  4. steady, dependable and unwavering
  5. an inner state of mind and a vision
  6. respect, validation and high regard
  7. communication, collaboration and sharing
  8. focused beyond what the eye can see
  9. action, behavior and manifestation
  10. love for oneself first and then for others
Love heals. Do you know how to love? Take each of the words above, study their different meanings, and then evaluate your own way of loving. How close do you come to being able to love freely, openly and unconditionally?

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