Monday, December 27, 2010

3 Minute Speed Dating –Can It Work?

People use speed dating for a variety of reasons, whether it is to make new friends or find people you have things in common with, possible romance, or a night of passion you are after, the decision to go on a speed dating event can bring all kinds of new experiences.

Unless you have been on a speed date before you might be thinking it's impossible to know if you like someone with only 3 minutes to talk, and it's a good point to make. 3 minutes goes by very fast so it's advised you have set questions ready in preparation so no time is wasted by awkward silences as you rack your brain trying to think of what to ask.

Ask thousands of people worldwide and they'll tell you that speed dating can, and does, work. There are hundreds of stories about how they met their true love, made loads of new friends, and found themselves at the centre of a social group that transformed their life. Even if you don't meet someone special think of all the fun and great nights out you will have – if you're not speed dating then what are you doing? The alternatives are watching TV alone, cleaning the house and taking the dog for a walk!

The advantages of choosing speed dating over other types of dates is that it is all organized for you, all you have to do is pay the registration fee or booking fee for the particular event you want to attend and turn up on the night. Also it's safe if you are a woman on her own and, unlike meeting a date by yourself, you are in a safe environment where you can be at ease. Although everyone might be a stranger the events are watched over by the organisers and you never have to be alone during the evening.

Generally we notice people who we find physically attractive, this can be difficult if you go on a blind date or contact someone via the personal columns in the newspapers or online as you haven't seen what that person looks like until you go on the actual date! Speed dating in Nottingham gives you the chance to meet lots of potential dates and you know within the first few minutes whether you like the look of someone or not, so 3 minutes is sufficient time! If you have a busy lifestyle then there is no time wasted on evenings spent with someone you have just met but realized within the first 10 minutes was going nowhere, or making small talk with someone you are not attracted to in the least.

A speed dating evening is a little like an interview, think of it as a way to weed out anyone you dislike or have no connection with. This leaves you with a few possibilities and you can then take it from there. As the time you have together is so short then it's best to come prepared, this means have selected questions ready to ask. They don't have to be too formal or personal either, make them lighthearted but if you really want to know if the person opposite just wants sex or is interested in a lasting relationship then ask away! People at these events are much more direct than general, remember though that they will have questions to ask you too so consider what these may be and have your answers ready.

Speed dating events can be organized in various locations and mostly they are private, the last thing you want is to be overlooked by a busy bar where anyone can watch as you move from table to table and ‘interview' your partner, that's really going to put you off. You don't want people gawking so check the event before you book.

After each introduction, members mark on their scorecard whether or not they would be keen to have a real date with the other person. How the game ends depends on how the event has been organized, typically the organizers check the scorecards and match up which partners are commonly attracted to each other. Some organizers only give the women the men's phone number whilst others give either sex the interested party's number to be followed up on for a date.

Generally events are fun and people relax as the evening goes on, once the dating part is over you can spend time in the bar getting to know people better if that's what you wish. If you don't meet anyone you are interested in at your chosen event then there's no need to panic – there are plenty more in your local area. The more speed dating Nottingham events you attend the more confident you will become and confidence leads to attention.

Three Factors That Can End Your Relationship In An Instant

Relationships, some people take this for granted, while others make it their whole existence. Some people are lucky enough to have it for a lifetime, while some consider it as an unending quest. Some find it hard, while others find it a breeze. Everybody has an opinion about what it’s like being in a love affair, but one thing is certain, when we are serious about it, we would do anything to make it right. And if we want to make our union last for a life time there are three characteristics we need to get rid of. The three characteristics are impatience, immaturity, and self-centeredness. Once these behaviors are overcome having a successful marriage or romantic relationship can be achieved.

Let us first discussed impatience. Although the discovery of instant foods, instant services, and instant everything has made our lives easier and convenient, it has also developed one destructive behavioral pattern that can make any togetherness miserable and that is instant self-gratification.

“I want it in fifteen minutes, hot and delicious and cheap.” This kind of pampering has totally fed our impatience. It has developed a, “right here, right know” way of thinking. We can’t help ourselves to apply it in our daily living, especially, in our marriage. We can’t help but sometimes treat our own affairs as an instant service instead of a self-service, a fast food instead of a fine dining. We thought that marriage is like a disposable goods instead of a fine china that should be treasured and kept. Remember by heart that good things come to those who practice patience and perseverance. There are some things that we need to work hard on, to put on toil and hard work on, because the reward is beyond our comprehension, and this include our relationship.

The second characteristic that can make any relationship miserable is immaturity, especially emotional immaturity.

Emotional immaturity is the inability of one person in the relationship to sympathize. They take out their issues on their partner and they don’t know how to apologize. When one or both people are emotionally immature, then there is no chance for the relationship to thrive. Romantic togetherness needs understanding, listening, open communication, and respect to thrive, and all these are impossible to do if one is emotionally immature.

The last factor that can end your relationship in an instant is self-centeredness or the “me- first” attitude. This kind of self-centeredness is very different from taking care of yourself for your loved, this is different from loving yourself to be able to love the people who cares for you. You are self-centered when you strongly believe that your needs are more important that anybody else in your family. You believe that if your needs doesn’t come first, then the romantic relationship is not working out. When you are selfish, you are guiltless in manipulating people around you. You don’t see anything wrong in taking advantage of the love and care people who loves you as long as you get your way.

Marriage needs constant care and consideration, it needs selflessness and deep trust. If you see yourself in one or all of these behaviors, don’t worry, you can still make a three hundred sixty degree turn if you are willing to work on it. If you find it hard to make a change, ask the help of your partner, romantic relationship, is after all about making the best out of each other.