Monday, December 27, 2010

Three Factors That Can End Your Relationship In An Instant

Relationships, some people take this for granted, while others make it their whole existence. Some people are lucky enough to have it for a lifetime, while some consider it as an unending quest. Some find it hard, while others find it a breeze. Everybody has an opinion about what it’s like being in a love affair, but one thing is certain, when we are serious about it, we would do anything to make it right. And if we want to make our union last for a life time there are three characteristics we need to get rid of. The three characteristics are impatience, immaturity, and self-centeredness. Once these behaviors are overcome having a successful marriage or romantic relationship can be achieved.

Let us first discussed impatience. Although the discovery of instant foods, instant services, and instant everything has made our lives easier and convenient, it has also developed one destructive behavioral pattern that can make any togetherness miserable and that is instant self-gratification.

“I want it in fifteen minutes, hot and delicious and cheap.” This kind of pampering has totally fed our impatience. It has developed a, “right here, right know” way of thinking. We can’t help ourselves to apply it in our daily living, especially, in our marriage. We can’t help but sometimes treat our own affairs as an instant service instead of a self-service, a fast food instead of a fine dining. We thought that marriage is like a disposable goods instead of a fine china that should be treasured and kept. Remember by heart that good things come to those who practice patience and perseverance. There are some things that we need to work hard on, to put on toil and hard work on, because the reward is beyond our comprehension, and this include our relationship.

The second characteristic that can make any relationship miserable is immaturity, especially emotional immaturity.

Emotional immaturity is the inability of one person in the relationship to sympathize. They take out their issues on their partner and they don’t know how to apologize. When one or both people are emotionally immature, then there is no chance for the relationship to thrive. Romantic togetherness needs understanding, listening, open communication, and respect to thrive, and all these are impossible to do if one is emotionally immature.

The last factor that can end your relationship in an instant is self-centeredness or the “me- first” attitude. This kind of self-centeredness is very different from taking care of yourself for your loved, this is different from loving yourself to be able to love the people who cares for you. You are self-centered when you strongly believe that your needs are more important that anybody else in your family. You believe that if your needs doesn’t come first, then the romantic relationship is not working out. When you are selfish, you are guiltless in manipulating people around you. You don’t see anything wrong in taking advantage of the love and care people who loves you as long as you get your way.

Marriage needs constant care and consideration, it needs selflessness and deep trust. If you see yourself in one or all of these behaviors, don’t worry, you can still make a three hundred sixty degree turn if you are willing to work on it. If you find it hard to make a change, ask the help of your partner, romantic relationship, is after all about making the best out of each other.

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