So you are getting married. Wonderful. Love may be blind but marriage sure will reveal its lucidity.
A habit is defined as a recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.
Let me say that once more, frequent repetition.
If you have issues, discuss them. Just because one or the other rolls their eyes does not constitute means for silence. Talk. Even when you hate each other, talk.
Some habits are minor, as annoying or gross as they may seem. For instance, nail biting, and nose picking is just gross. Knuckle cracking is annoying and bad for you, but they are still deemed more of a minor significance.
So what are some of the bad boys and if you are the one with the bad habit here are some tips.
1. Saying "yes" all the time is a bad habit. This is something you will need to learn and this is more particular of women than men. However there are men people pleasers as well.
If you don't have the guts to say no to someone you can always say, "Let me think about it and I will tell you later." You can also commit to a lesser commitment than was asked of you.
2. Holding Grudges. Feelings of resentment benefit no one. You must let go and let god so to speak. If your partner keeps a chip on their shoulder it will only widen the communication gap.
3. If you are hiding a smoking, binge drinking, drug addiction habit platter of issues, get help. Don't get married, have babies and try to hide this from your partner. Get real with yourself and make the change.
4. Borrowing money If you have a habit of borrowing money from people this is something that your partner should know. If you are in serious debt and have a habit of careless spending.
5. Procrastination as a side note, I will say that procrastination is ridiculous. It takes action before motivation. Just do it. Once you start something it is not that bad and you know it. So get to action. Work first, play later and you will reap the sweet rewards.
6. Overeating this is another big bad habit. Are you okay? Let's get serious about getting your weight under control. If you have unresolved issues then get help. What is stopping you? You and I both know that your body was not designed to be overweight. It's unnatural.
7. Gambling I once met a man who was resentful even as an adult that his mother had gambled all their money and lost the house. I think that is enough said.
8. Compulsive shopping. Try to be honest with each other. If you want more money and want to shop more then get another job. Don't rob the family of any quality of life for your own addictions. It's just not right.
9. Pornography and other sexual addictions. It's your choice do you want to make love to your partner or a fantasy? Whatever your choice may be it is not fair to one person to be ignored and harbor thoughts of insecurity and humility on account of your own pleasure. This is a discussion waiting to happen if person is struggling with this.
Now if your partner needs a little help here are some tips for you.
1. Do not "nag" them. Nagging someone makes them automatically defensive. Your partner will feel personally attacked.
2. Share your feelings, but stick to the initial issue. Don't sidetrack about what happened 'last week"
3. Set a good example yourself. Sometimes being a good example will have a greater affect than all the words in the world.
4. Avoid using "you messages". You messages put people down. Saying "You never show up on time." Or "You always do this, or that" When you talk to others in this manner, it shuts down communication.
5. Instead, Say something like, "I feel anxious when you are late, because I worry that you are abandoning me or that you are hurt somewhere." Fill in the blanks for different situations. You will get a much better response than saying, "You are always late."
6. Assert yourself and then keep quite. Listen to the other person. Be a support, not an enemy. Repeating yourself over and over will lead to insanity. Let it go. If you can't live with it, then go. But the issue needs to go somewhere. It won't just go away.
7. Avoid codependency.
A habit is defined as a recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.
Let me say that once more, frequent repetition.
If you have issues, discuss them. Just because one or the other rolls their eyes does not constitute means for silence. Talk. Even when you hate each other, talk.
Some habits are minor, as annoying or gross as they may seem. For instance, nail biting, and nose picking is just gross. Knuckle cracking is annoying and bad for you, but they are still deemed more of a minor significance.
So what are some of the bad boys and if you are the one with the bad habit here are some tips.
1. Saying "yes" all the time is a bad habit. This is something you will need to learn and this is more particular of women than men. However there are men people pleasers as well.
If you don't have the guts to say no to someone you can always say, "Let me think about it and I will tell you later." You can also commit to a lesser commitment than was asked of you.
2. Holding Grudges. Feelings of resentment benefit no one. You must let go and let god so to speak. If your partner keeps a chip on their shoulder it will only widen the communication gap.
3. If you are hiding a smoking, binge drinking, drug addiction habit platter of issues, get help. Don't get married, have babies and try to hide this from your partner. Get real with yourself and make the change.
4. Borrowing money If you have a habit of borrowing money from people this is something that your partner should know. If you are in serious debt and have a habit of careless spending.
5. Procrastination as a side note, I will say that procrastination is ridiculous. It takes action before motivation. Just do it. Once you start something it is not that bad and you know it. So get to action. Work first, play later and you will reap the sweet rewards.
6. Overeating this is another big bad habit. Are you okay? Let's get serious about getting your weight under control. If you have unresolved issues then get help. What is stopping you? You and I both know that your body was not designed to be overweight. It's unnatural.
7. Gambling I once met a man who was resentful even as an adult that his mother had gambled all their money and lost the house. I think that is enough said.
8. Compulsive shopping. Try to be honest with each other. If you want more money and want to shop more then get another job. Don't rob the family of any quality of life for your own addictions. It's just not right.
9. Pornography and other sexual addictions. It's your choice do you want to make love to your partner or a fantasy? Whatever your choice may be it is not fair to one person to be ignored and harbor thoughts of insecurity and humility on account of your own pleasure. This is a discussion waiting to happen if person is struggling with this.
Now if your partner needs a little help here are some tips for you.
1. Do not "nag" them. Nagging someone makes them automatically defensive. Your partner will feel personally attacked.
2. Share your feelings, but stick to the initial issue. Don't sidetrack about what happened 'last week"
3. Set a good example yourself. Sometimes being a good example will have a greater affect than all the words in the world.
4. Avoid using "you messages". You messages put people down. Saying "You never show up on time." Or "You always do this, or that" When you talk to others in this manner, it shuts down communication.
5. Instead, Say something like, "I feel anxious when you are late, because I worry that you are abandoning me or that you are hurt somewhere." Fill in the blanks for different situations. You will get a much better response than saying, "You are always late."
6. Assert yourself and then keep quite. Listen to the other person. Be a support, not an enemy. Repeating yourself over and over will lead to insanity. Let it go. If you can't live with it, then go. But the issue needs to go somewhere. It won't just go away.
7. Avoid codependency.
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