Monday, July 5, 2010

Recognizing True Friendship

Presented here are eight key elements that characterize true friendship between friends. True friendship is not confined to building rapport between one person and another. We may see this one on one friendship displayed between school class mates. Year after year as the scholastic time in a person's life proceeds along its way. The bonding between friends outlasts the rigors of homework, detention, or puberty blues.
Sometimes the rapport may be between groups of people. True friendship is displayed in the bonding of members of sports teams. United by a common goal and faith in the bonds of friendship. A team steps out on the sports arena. To face together what ever comes from the opposition. Is there anything more passionate than an avid football fan for their team.
Other relationships that are characterized by true friendship is that between a person and their pet. After all, man's best friend, it is said, is a dog. For centuries animals have provided the acknowledgement of self that we all require.

Acceptance
To accept a person for who they are. Each of us is a unique individual with personal preferences. The life choices that a friend may make may not be the same as the life choices that you would make yourself. Diversity is what makes the world an interesting place.

Willingness
A willingness to listen to all your friend has to say. There may be time when you are not interested in the topic that your friend wants to discuss at length. True friends willingly listen to all each other have to say. Agreement of opinion is not necessary but respect that the other person is entitled to their opinion.

Trust
The ability to be relied upon in all circumstances. An act of betrayal can kill trust stone dead. Once trust has been shown to not be what it was perceived to be. It is extremely hard to restore consistent belief in that concept again. A true friend does not break trust.

Loyalty
Being loyal means you do not say nasty words about your friend. If others would spread rumours you do not engage in such speculation. If there is an opportunity to speak well of your friend then you do so.

Tolerance
Even though you may not like some of the choices that your friend makes. You do not allow that to obscure the friendship. Friendship has a higher value than individual choices.

Time
True friendship stands the test of time. We all have 20/20 hindsight. Looking back it is easy to see who our true friends have been and still are.

Trouble
In times of trouble you can count on a true friend to protect your back without having to be asked. They will be standing right beside you for support even if it is on the other end of a phone call.

Caring
A true friend cares whether you are happy or sad. A true friend will give you assistance to throw off the blues. Bring you chocolates, have a coffee with you or maybe some retail therapy. Go fishing, or get a massage together. Any activity that turns that frown upside down into a sunny smile.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Friends - Here Today and Gone Tomorrow

I was riding in public bus this morning and I began to reflect back to what one of my close friends asked me a few years ago when we were at a convention.

We were taking a lunch break in between some seriously dynamic speakers and I made a comment that; even though my first business venture did not go as planned that I was going to come back in a serious way and the world would be force to watch me do my thing in a global successful sense.
One of my best friends, at the time, turned and looked at me and said, "Well don't forget about me baby when you conquer the world" to which I replied, "you know I got you covered and you will be right there with me bro".

Fast forward 6-7 years and you will find him and me no longer even talking to one another let alone being the best of friends. I often ask myself what did I do wrong or what could I have done differently, but I kept coming up with the same consistent answer...nothing!

My default position was what a famous radio personality said at the close of his show one day," Everybody that comes with you can't go with you..." He went on to explain that because he had increased his own vision for himself, from the days of hanging out on the street corner, that some of those same individuals, who were still on the street corner, had a problem with him when he would come back home to visit his family.
They were actually surprised that he would not take them up on their invitation to hang with them in the same capacity as he did before.

He thought to himself, that there was no way he could just stand there doing nothing for hours on end talking about what could be anymore, knowing that he had already turn his dreams into a reality. He was equally surprised when they looked perplex at his decline to their invitation. This quick excerpt helps me to stay the course and to not grow too weary when I start growing in areas of my life and those around me become uncomfortable with that growth and choose to remove themselves from my life.

I have to keep in mind that everyone around me is not growing at my same rate or they may be choosing to stay right where they are in their development and it is alright for me to go on ahead to meet my goals, dreams, and desires.

I tried to keep this friendship going on several occasions, but when it is truly time for a caterpillar to mature; the cocoon must come off, the new wings must be utilized, and by a new name/design called a butterfly I must become...

I have learned that this shedding of an old friend typically brings about a new friend who is just where you are in your new stage of growth and development, so don't sweat the small stuff even though this parting can be a sad and hurtful affair.

Just know that if you are indeed changing for the better then a good indicator of that is the new growth on your branches of progress.
Some friends are indeed just for a season and some will remain for a lifetime and either way it's all good.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Dating Secrets For Men - How to Get Her Phone Number AND a Date

Okay, you already have a situation where you have met a woman and you have gotten a conversation going with her. There is a little flirting going on back and forth, and you are already sold on the idea that you would like to date her. At this moment, do you really know what to do or say to her to get her phone number and a date?
If not, don't be too alarmed. Getting a woman to give you her phone number is not really that hard and you can make it a lot SIMPLER on yourself.
Here's how to get a phone number AND a date with her:
1. You have to build up to getting the number.
Even if you can get it a little quicker, there are some steps that you do NOT want to skip building up to what you really want. One thing that I recommend is to make it seem like you are not just talking her up with an end goal in mind. You know you have one, she might even know that you have one, but you cannot make it too obvious. Women tend to shut down when they think that a man is just trying to pick her up.
2. You need to make her feel like she can talk to you forever.
I know, that sounds like an impossible thing to do. I mean, that's a lot of pressure, right? Not at all. What you really need to do is to be a good listener. Not in the sappy way of just hearing about her day kind of thing, I mean you need to listen to pick the right moments to change direction and start to guide the conversation where you want it to go.
3. You got to be able to go for the close at the end.
Hey, you cannot make a sale if you do not ask for it, and you also cannot get her number unless you ask as well. What I like to do is to set the conversation up so that she is the one that is kind of suggesting that we should talk more in the future or that we should hang out. Then, it's only natural that she gives you her phone number.
I'll give you a specific example from a recent encounter with a woman.
She was telling me that she was becoming a baseball fan, and I just casually teased her about knowing nothing about baseball, and at the same time setting up an offer to go to a Met game with her. Of course, I did not offer to pay for the ticket, I just met her and I'm not trying to dump gifts on her, just an invite to go with her. She got all psyched about it and of course I got her number. And we did go to the Met game and she was VERY appreciative of this.

Does He Just Want to Sleep With Me? 7 Best Ways to Know His True Intentions Before it Gets Too Far

Are you currently seeing a guy who you slept with during your first date? Usually, having sex on the very first night that you go out, often isn't a good way to start a relationship. It wouldn't be surprising if it crossed your mind that his intention is just to have sex with you. On the other hand, there are some unions that have weathered the test of time even if they started with lust.
Here are the tell-tale signs of a guy who's just in it for free sex:
When you tell him you love him, he doesn't respond at all
If he's really into you he would reply with some form of "I love you, too" instead of just going back to cuddling you. If you can't even here these three important words, then he's not worth your time.
When you talk on the phone, majority of your topics revolve around sex
If you've noticed that he can't talk about anything else except your bedroom encounters, then start worrying. You should be able to engage in topics such as his or your interests and many other subjects other than sex.
When he asks you for sex and you say no, his mood suddenly changes
A good man should be able to take a refusal every now and then. After you've told him there will be no sex today, he should stop asking for it over and over. If he remains adamant and gets mad at you, then he's definitely not someone that you should have for keeps.
He hangs out with you only in a place where both of you can have sex
You should be able to go out in a world where the two of you can engage in activities and socialization. You should steer clear of motels if you want to find out if he's more than just a sex partner.
If you're alone in the house, he goes there and asks for sex
At times when you're alone in the house, he comes to you without any intent of having a good conversation. If he gets down to kissing or hugging you directly without even bothering to ask how your day went, then it only means that he's just there to have his fix for the day.
He touches you inappropriately even when you're in public
When you're with his friends he should introduce you as his girlfriend. You should be able to feel some amount of respect from them. If you don't, then maybe that has something to do with your man. Your man should stop touching you naughtily in front of other people. There's always a proper venue for sex and the streets aren't one of them!
You have caught him cheating with another woman
If you find out that he does the same thing with other girls, then it's time to wake up and accept that he's just in it for free sex - nothing more.